i hate rampaging on about how everything in my life is but blah i think im to the point of relizing that my life is just about the same as last year.. last year sucked too.. i remember quiet a bit and would want to like look back at those old entries of anger and other shit but i cant cuz it just would make me feel like shit.. but today i felt like any other day last year.. my life was boring.. i sat in choir didnt talk much i went to commons afterwords didnt want to talk nor did i talk much.. went to second block laid my head on the desk and tried not to talk as much possible and to avoid people around me.. went to commons stood there said about nothing went to 3rd block earlier then the 2nd bell rang due to being bored.. went to 3rd block was like whatever and sat there occasionally talking to jess.. went to lunch ate went to class talked to jess.. then went to 4th block and silently took my test.. today was tiredsome and i did nothing.. i no longer have anything to look forward to when going to school not that i ever did this year earlier in the year i had someone to come home to and call i remember that and cant seem to forget it.. sadly i cant seem to get things out of my head... that ended after my last jv game then later there was a new begging of thinking of how in the world im gonna avoid going to captains practice for hockey.. then there was a fun time at sarahs then there was looking forward to christmas then there was my birthday and then blah i dont know it just seems everything has disinigrated from a world of being the happiest person to now becoming the one who doesnt want to talk.. and then theres the things from last year when me and sarah used to mope around during hockey season for certain reasons and in which those reasons come back.. yet once again.. but it was no problem in the beggining of the year.. but that no longer is me.. i seen an old article from the county fair today and it made me sad to think thats where everything happened and where like everything started. and to think that was only a while ago.. blah it makes me sad.. im not really sick of anyone right now.. except one person.. and thats myself.. the thought of me.. im an annoying childish dumb stupid person who obviously has no life.. golf starts next week and thats gonna be boring.. spending your day with a bunch of preppy whores and then eilers whom the preppy whores flirt with which is gross.. then theres dana who is always so concentrent when i could really care less.. but she gets annoying after a while.. and we didnt go to the y today which also makes me sad.. blah im blah.. and everything around me is blah.. and its because of me myself.. i want to go back to dc and do that over.. except this time be the cool person.. instead of the person whoc was a freak but thought of themself as a cool person.. that is a true freak..! ugh and i also now relize what a bitch i am.. yet then again not but for surely yes.. im a fat as bitch.. ugh i want to crawl in a whole and die.. i know im a bitch steph im sorry.. just dont talk to me cuz im mean and i dont think it just goes for you.. i think everyone should stop talking to me cuz im an asswipe.. ill be sad if you dont read this cuz i am sorry.. ugh blah blah blah im an asswipe im an ass im a bitch im everything thats mean and that is rotten.. im everything that is bad you should all stop talking to me blah blah balah blahblah blah.. stop talking to me stop talking to me stop talking to me stop talking to me.. i just hurt peoples feelings cuz im a bad person that does bad things and doesnt do anyone good.. im evil and i should rot in hell and just blah blabblahblahblahb no one to turn to blah blah blah blah boring now im just typing to myself reminding myself what a bad bad person i am.. dont tell me im not a bad person cuz i dont care what you say.. and because i dont care.. that makes me a bad person.. cuz a good person would care.. im a bad fat person.. damn cabbage patch kids..! bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad persn.. you knew something was wrong today and you asked mea and all i said was im tired.. but you believed me the only thing you had wrong.. bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person bad person im pretty sure people bitch about how much of an ass i am.. and tell other people how much they hate me.. especialy now.. now that it shows that im an extremly bad person.. no one will be reading this..!