hockey practice was no fun tonight.. i feel really stupid.. i have no one at practice thats friends with me.. not today.. not now.. none! i hated it.. i know i suck.. they dont have to say anything.. and they didnt but there actions dont help.. dont fuckin mess with me bitches.. today was depressing.. yes grant you have been getting on my last nerves.. dont mess with me.. and now after todays practice i am goin to be a stuborn BITCH for the rest of the week.. so theres people in school just bugging me.. and then i have these things on my mind that bug me like all hell.. and they make me mad and t' me off.. and then theres voice lessons.. ya they even sucked because i am sick and it just kept dragging on me and i want to be able to sing so i can finally show cheryl how its really done.. cuz i havent been able to sing my best for her yet.. and then there was practice which made my day what we would call a living hell.. my head hurts from my helmet and other reasons i will not mention.. because i dont want to point out that i am a whoose.. so in general i smell bad and am in a bad mood.. i am sad at the moment yes.. because.. i suck at hockey.. and everyone can apparently laugh at it.. because theres no one better to laugh at for it.. haha thats funny.. no no it is not.. its not funny.. stop getting on my nerves unless you want to get hurt. oh and by the way why do people not seem to think i cant keep a secret.. just so you know.. i can obviously keep them a hell of a lot better then the people youve chosen to tell.. and im not metioning any names.. but ya i have heard some things im not mentioning from other ppl about my friends.. and im not mentioning any names.. but when you told me against this thing.. lets just say you lied to me.. friends dont lie to each other.. they dont.. thats why were friends.. i dont believe in liers.. and yes sometimes i do lie.. but maybe when im ready to tell the truth i will.. but also i have no secrets like this, neither have i done anything like this and it upsets me that you lied to me and told someone else who ya is your friend but i thought we were much closer.. and no im not mad.. its just.. why cant you tell me the truth now.. like you didnt before.. but now that you've started to tell people.. why cant you tell me.. i highly doubt you will.. even though i hope you do.. cuz i want to knwo the truth i want to know if this person isnt shitten me.. and i think people dont tell me.. because they think im gonna get mad at them for this secret.. what the hell ugh.. gosh friends dont lie.. and they tell each other the truth.. maybe not the first time.. but they better be the first to know when you do tell someone.. ill keep to myself.. refer to me as a fucking idiot.. who apparently is like the devil.. maybe im not nice enough to people.. the way i spazzed at you grant.. honest to goodness gracious i have not done that for the longest amount of time.. ive been able to keep my anger down a hell of a lot.. maybe its because ppl started to respect me more.. and respect other peoples feelings.. but now you have tormented with mine.. and guess what is coming back.. yes that tis' right.. the broken evil jessica.. the one who chews ppl out.. dont get on my nerves damnit.. my life is rough too and with you being there getting even more on my case.. its just gonna make your life even more rough like youve done to mine.. im sick of ppl complaining and yes i guess that is what i am doin right now.. and HONESTLY what im saying right about now.. means NOTHING.. because.. well anything i write shouldnt be heard from anyways cuz who cares to read this.. but anyway.. right now im pissed and today just randomly sucked and im in one of those mood.. its just not a pissed off mood its also a very sad pissed off mood.. im humiliated.. and am writing all this bullshit to help keep myself down.. you just wouldnt understand.. DONT TOY WITH ME