erica is my best source of help.. shes helped me out of the darken corner.. of course im not back to "normal" i dont think i ever will be just because so many things have changed.. so many new things i dont like.. on the way to school i drank the best drink ever.. i made it.. i just added this little pack thing to water.. it was like this hot chocolate carmel thing.. ugh it was glorious.. i want more.. tomorrow im goin out for the search for more at cash wise.. and if i find it.. i will drink it everyday before school until the end of the year.. i think it helped.. maybe.. my weezer book.. is the coolest thing i own besides my guitar right now.. ugh its pretty wicked.. i showed my dad he laughed and made fun of the fact that id play like a note with the song and feel that ive accomplished something.. what a meany.. he didnt get to hear the whole good part.. what a butt head.. lol i think i do a decent job so he should not be mean and poopy lol.. church was fun tonight.. i love church.. i dont feel close to God really.. but just being there makes me happy.. i dont know why.. UGH HEADACHE