okay so this guy i like... well we were hanging out today and i was sick cuz... i just was... and i have to work tomarrow. anywyas.. ya so we were ruff-houseing and he knows i like him so as a natural guy he was toying with my emotions but i didn't mind cuz i only act to him as a friend and im okay with nothing more... so anyways... we were playing alot and he started the "Licking Game" which is our little game we have and when the person licks you your saposed to lick the person where they licked you or just on teh face. so after doing this all day and him laying on me/me laying on him we had to take a brake... well he was pritty happy that he gotr me horny... and he said "well you know i could let go..." meaning like just fricken do whatever and let his hormones go wild so i said "well are you?" and he said "if you want me to" - okay now first of all... i like this guy but do you reallly think im going to respond? no im sorry...- okay so we kept asking each other that question for awhile and he kept putting his face right in mine... and i wanted to kiss him so bad but we kept licking each other and you know after awhile he wouln't let me lick his face... and he kept sticking hid tounge out so a few times i had to lick his tounge... not a problem right? RONG! my lips are soft, and kissing is better! but on the plus side he errr... gave me 3 hickies. ya well the one hurt when i tryed to pull away... ya i have to to keep him interested.. he's one of those "i like a girl who puts up a fight" guys... and ya i love rufhousing when you do stuff like that. i love biteing to! and he said that when he kissed a girl he absolutly loved when a girl nibbled on his bottum lip. (ya i'll remember that for the future) but once again we are just friends. and he is willing to do stuff for me so that we'll stay friends. i don't think he wants to take a chance even though it takes alot for me to stop being friends with someone. so we acted as if not much happend and i still have the urge to kiss him... anyways...(OH! and by the way i want him to randomly kiss me when theres no one around soooooo bad!!!) okay so we got D.J. (not my brother!) and i don't like him but whatever... and then we met up with Tyler B. and went to get Kurt, Matt, Tyler Br. so we all hung out and were just walking around so i was with my possy of guys... who i always hang out with... anyways ya then we went to Alex's house and she was on the phone with Jess and Jess guessed everyone there! it was cool. so we let Alex go and she went back in teh house and the boy i like... we'll just call him "boy" so Boy, Tyler B, Matt, Kurt all came back to my place and i Tyler sniffed wasobie stuff and so did Matt and Boy and only Tyler puked cuz if that kid smells something rontchy he'll spew. so Kurt (who has done it 3 times without pukeing) couldn't stop laughing... cuz thats the kind of guy Kurt is. it was funny. Sio we all went in to my house and Boy was stupid and was like "hey check out Ash's neck" and i almost kielled him but i didn't want anyone to know cuz everyone thinks we should go out but ... i don't know. oviously he dosn't care. so tyler tryd getting my neck to show (i have one on my arm) and all anyoine knows is it's a guy from Drum and it's only 1) so tyler didn't get m ecuz Boy came and repped his arms around my neck to hide me. (i loved it... hes so nice) so i know they'll get it our after a while... but when they left cuz my mom had to kick them out then i siad thank to Boy and he saiod "well i thought since i got you into it i had to get you out again" an di hugged him bye but he still isn't used to me doing that. i often give random hugs to people. and he also asked him if i still liked him and he got kinda confused when i told him i would think about it and tell him tomarrow cuz that day i had siad i liked him, but the thing is he dosn't get that you should NEVER ask a girl that in froont of people... then again why shouldn't anyone know? who cares? okay so im thinking baout it and well the truth is that i like him a little. and i am totally fine with being JUST friends or even makeout-buddys. but meh. and i don't want anyone to know. what the hell why did i just type that last sentince? rather then deleting it im goign to keep it there to sgnify how confused i am. i also put makeup on the marks. but oh god how i want to kiss him! i probably could have but if dosn't like me all that much then why should i? i think i should have kissed him but... i don't know. i blew off Kim today cuz we were fooling around but she does it to me ALL the time! but unfortunutly she knows i like Boy. but i don't want to say that me and Boy fooled around today. and i think he really wants everyone to know about it cuz he kept menting things all day to people... different every time some the truthg siome not so much... frick! he's probably happy and wants to tell everyone cuz im like the hardest girl to get. im serious... if the guys grab my ass i fucking punch them one. same thing for anything else. so im not feeling to sick anymore but i still have to work tomarrow. and i don't really know how im going to cover my neck up when im working cuz im under a grease truck fixing it... i just hope its cold tomarrow so that i have an excuse to where a scarf. well i should go... "-Sometimes Its As If You Planed It." "-One Smile=A Fucking Heart Ach." Later Days! SOMETHING CORPORATE LYRICS "As You Sleep" close your eyes, and i will be swimming lullaby's fill your room, and i will be singing singing to only you dont forget ill hold your head watch the night sky fading red but as you sleep, and noone is listening i will lift you off your feet, ill keep you from sinking don't you wake up yet, cause soon ill be leaving you soon ill be leaving you, but you won't be leaving me in the car, the radio leaves me searching for your star a constellation of frustration driving hard singing my thoughts back to me, and watching heartache on TV but as you sleep, and no one is listening i will lift you off your feet, i'll keep you from sinking don't you wake up yet, cause soon i'll be leaving you, soon i'll be leaving you but you won't be leaving me don't forget i'll hold your head, watch the night sky fading red but as you sleep, and no one is listening i will lift you off your feet, i'll keep you from sinking don't you wake up yet, cause soon i'll be leaving you soon i'll be leaving you, but you won't be leaving me