Hayden is makeing this into a even bigger deal than i thought it would be... here is a letter he sent me over Nexopia: "hey ashley its not a break if ur not gonna get back with the person and i was told that u want to talk top me well u know my number and dont be afrade to call i mean were still friends arrnt we?" so i responded with the fallowing: "well as far as i know it is a brake. I really wanted to try and explaine things a little better.. you see i just thought it was awkward with B-ma there and all (my grandma) and we were going to go for dinner. i'll try to calll you or talk to you later today... or i guess that depends on when you get this too. i really hope you aren't mad or anythign i'll try to explaine it better when i see you next. ... or over the phone.... which ever. and of course were friends. your still my Boy. and i shall always be here for you even if we don't curently have teh title as boyfriend/girlfriend." then he wrote back saying this: "im sorry to say but im not ur boy anymore im just boyslut now and as far as me being mad goes im more hurt then anything i really liked u and i do care about u and i always have i just dident want u to get sick of seeing me. if i would have known that it was gonna lead to this i would have came to see u more im so sorry for all this." so i said this back to him: "no. im sorry it dosn't work that way. you are still my Boy. i called you Boy or Boyslut before we went out. you aren't much of a Boyslut anymore... so therefore you are still just Boy. i don't see why you would have been mad in the first place. and it's not liked i tryed to hurt you. i warned you fair and squared that we wouldn't be together forever. and there isn't anythign to be sorry about. it's just *sigh* it has nothign to do with what would of or could have been done. it would have come to this. maybe im scared or maybe i just want to be alone and not have to worry about keeping a relationship... or maybe im just being a stupid girl... or maybe im being a smart girl. i really like you but i think we're almost better of as friends. there is always that small bit of awkwardness that i can't seem to shake. in any case we are still friends... there is nothing different except for teh fact that we don't have the title as boyfriend and girlfriend and that ... well that longing desire to kiss you... haha well i finally got to so thats the only differnce." well i haven't heard back from him yet but i did send that last bit to him rather late tonight... so i won't here from him untill later today. yes it's like 2:09 AM i am going to talk to him tomarrow and ask him what the hell he wants me to do? seriously... he is makeing it seem liek its my fault and that i did this on purpose. i throw my hands up in the air at him. i don't know... maybe if Kim's mom pulls through and im allowd a weekend with her than we can take a road trip down for the weeekend and go to Penticton to see Nick. oh man... that'll be the perfact get away. i can clear my head and havce fn at the same time. enough of this bullshit of me being confused. well i'll just tap my brin a few times and try really, really hard to forget about him and all this trouble it's starting to become and focus on my sleep (i have really bad insomnia) and focus on my school work. Later Days! *~Ashley~*