so im sitting here on New years eve and i want to end it with garry so bad. i love him or at least i think i do.... but i just can't do it anymore.
Lance and i saw each other for the last time in a long time haha. i gave him my Hello Kitty doll so i would Have to come back and see him. but i set in stone the fact that we wouldn;t see or talk to each other untill Garry and i were done. Lance had wanted this and i think its the right thing.
This guy though.... my god! He is gorgeous. and not just with his looks.... his mind, his thoughts.... everythign about him. He has short brown hair, but just long enough so i can run my fingers through it... and brown eyes.... piercing big brown eyes.... they can make me stop in aww with a single glance. and his lips... so full and kissable... i want to kiss him so bad. I love the way he smells.... he smells so good... so happy, so strong willed.... new.... fresh... a new start.... he smells awesome. and i like how it lingers on my pilliow even when he dosen't wear anything extra.
The other night he had a wife beater on and my god was i wet. HE looked so good... i couldn;t bileave what him just lying on the bed staring at me looking like that could do to me. i want him so bad.
Anyways... i should probably get dressed. wish me luck for a good night. it never is. Acceptance. I had called Garry and asked him one last time what he wanted me to wear and he said he didn't care.... not so much as even a tank top, V-neck, cleavage, halter.... tight pants, hair.... something! i asked him if jeans and a t-shirt would be good... and yet again he didn't seem to care. i called Bailey. good hting too. because i was seriously going to just go in jeans and a t-shirt. Bailey (being one of my best friends...) said that i should just rock it tonight. throw everythign out the window. look hot, feel hot, work it and et the cards lie where they fall. she said if we didn;t break up tongiht to end it tomarrow. i have to agreee with her. the thing that i seem to have called a relationship for the last year and a half is nothing but a farse.... its stupid and meaningless. and you know what? im 19... he is 34... what the hell is he doing? i can;t do this anymore.
New Zealand is put on hold untill i meet with Wess for drinks... i don't think ill go.
anyways im off....
Later Days!
*~Ashley~*
Hey baby girl
I've been watching you all day
Man that thing you got behind you is amazing
You make me want to take you out and let it rain
I know you got a man but this is what you should say
[Chorus:]
Why don't you tell him that I'm leavin' never looking back again
You found somebody who does it better than he can
No more making you cry
No more them gray skies
Girl we flying on a g-5, g-5
And we're leavin' never looking back again
So call your shawty you tell him you found a new man
The one who's so so fly
The one to keep you high
Have you singing all night, like that
Now if I talk it girl, you know that I will walk it out
Man I'll put my money money where my mouth is
Cause you're the baddest little thing that I've ever seen
So I'm gonna ask you one time if you got a man
[Chorus]
Don't stress, don't stress, don't stress
Just tell him to the left left left
Don't stress, don't stress, don't stress
Cause we gone & we gone & we gone
No stress, no stress, no stress
Girl you deserve nothing but the best
No stress, no stress, no stress
Girl you need to tell him...
[Chorus]