i feel really bad. i mean im talkign to Nick on msn but its didnt really turn into a hissy or anything but i was kinda spazing. well im just very confused. you see as most of you know me, i get that way and i get really confused when i dont know how to deal with something. i just feel like no matter what i do i am doing everything wrong lately. i hate my councilor and im mad at my mom. i keep upsetting people a little and everyone is getting pissed with me complaining. IM SORRY EVERYONE I JUST ODNT KNOW WHAT TO DO! just bare with me for alittle longer. *sigh* i really wanted to kinda snap at Nick more but its msn and i cant seem to on here. so meh. its a good thing i didn't however two things have happined either one i snapped and he sint dealing with me untill i come down or two hes busy. probably both. and my mom is finally letting me out of teh house more and im sick and tierd of my fucking depressiona dn my councilor told me the other day that i have to starrt pronlem solving adn i do! i do all the time. i think thats my problem this time. i cant fix it. well not fast enough. and uggg! i do set my goals in life and everythign high. yes its time to pull the "oh my god Ashley your so dumb" card out. i set a goal to get my dad backa nd i did. i set my goal to pass school and so far i have, i have set goals to help others and i do and have i have set a goal to be a better person like the one that i want to be and i have and still am. i habe set tons of goals even being happy with the way i lok and i am. thsoe im sorry people but they are hard ones. so i've done alot. and i dont care who you are! no one can fucking tell em that i havent and im not doing a good job of anything. i will continue to help others and i will continue to be the person i want to be. i will get rid of my depression, i will stop all this cry baby crap becuase it pisses me off how weak i've become. i will re build my self back up. i will sort everyhting out. and you know what? ill look damn fine while i do it too. thats right! eat your heart out! now then. as far as me stressing goes im sorry once again but bare with me please. everyone. im just asking this one thing. its hard for me and i've never dealt with it before so please.... look at it this way... if anything ever happend liek this again it wouldnt be the same cuz i could deal with it. once something happens i can deal with it again. well im going ot go and work hard at makeing myself stronger. and try to get some sleep. and try very hard not to stress. i love you all. Later Days! *~Ashley~*