so alot of stuff happened last night
despite Garry not getting my mom a christmas gift and being a fucking knob about everything.... aperantly toight we are goingto see 2012.... i don;t want to see that movie but i don;t want him to go with anyone else.
anyways... so James called me and then we chatted on msn for a bit... and he confessed his un-dying love fo rme again. and he went onand on about how stupid he was to le me go like that and everything else....
then Danny calls drunk. aperantly he passed his tests which i was happy for him... buti noticed that people who go to school always have their head up their ass and take everything for granted. fuckers. like hell ill ever be able to go to school and there is Garry and Danny, just off in their own little world not realizing how amazing they have it. fuckers. anyways.... so Dannywants to come over, and he is really drunk. and i said ok. cuz he said he wanted to talk and get stuff off hischest and he wanted me to come over to his house or something (him and Tori live together...) i said no, he could come over to my house....
so its like 3AM or something and Danny shows up... we talk for a while and im kinda of a bitch to him...just about how he always put me down in the relationship and he really ahs to stop doing that to everyone.... then we start talking about what went wrong with us.. (you knwo the ushual) and then the sex talk came into play. aperantly i was the best he ever had... and the other girls could take tips from me. now im glad that Danny and James have both said this but everyone is different. like Garry dosne't think im the best he ever had. well he said i was the best at sex and stuff but i don;t know.... ANYWAYS... so he starts getting really horny talking about it and he says we should change the subject.... so we do, and its abut how i was sick which he totally didn;t care and it wa then i realized why he had come. it all hit me at once... that feeling of knowing... that strange thing aboutjst looking someone and knowing everything about them. he had come for sex. hoping that he could get me as horny as he was and have sex with me because Tori just wasn't doing it for him... it had been over a year.... we had only seen each other 1 other time befor this...
i laughed at him and shok my head "your not getting booty tonight, you realize that right?" and he smiled and said "i know...." "i'm serious. your not gtting ass. I have a boyfriend and im loyal and you have a girlfriend that your moving in with for fuck sakes...." he sad "oh really?" and grabbed my neck to choke me... he squeezed my neck but not enough to choke me.... just enough to make it hard to talk... and i could bearly breeth. i was a little concerned... but i just laughed and said "come on Danny, stop." and he just grinned and squeezd once a little tighter and grabed me by the throte and threw me across my bed... (which for some reason hadn't hurt me) i took a deep breath but ddin't let him see. i realized that he was enjoying this a little too much and the fact that he knew i could hangdle alot of this sort of ruff play and the fact that he enjoyed when i faught back made me realize i couldn't do anything except let it pass.
he said "you were the best i ever had...." and just kept saying stuff like that... and kept pinning me down and choking me softly. i kept telling him to leave but he wouldn't.... i thought about calling down stairs to my friend who lives below me and her boyfriend.... maybe Dave would come up and kick him out. but at the same time this was my ex. i knew him and he wouldn't hurt me.
now that i think about it he could have been on drugs as well as drunk. he kept pinning me and tryign to spread my legs... i had jeans on and everything. at first he couldn't (Danny is pretty big and works out alot but my leg musscels are very strong) when he could't open my legs the first time and i tried grabbing at him to let go he looked at me surprised then grined again and pinne dme down saying "i like when you fight back. its a huge turn on" "ok seriously Danny this is getting too much. its time for you to-" he jammed his tounge into my mouth and kissed me for a few seconds. thats when i got a little worried. i tried getting him off or turning my head but the way i was pinned i couldn't. when he finally let me up i wanted to spit at him .... but for somereason i didn;t.... i looked at him kinda sad like.... and sprung up from the bed and went to my door. time to leave Danny. he got up and said "i went too far didn't i?" "yes ..." i said. he grabbe dme again pinned me against the wall. and flung me onto the bed face first, climbed ontop of me and befor i could shout out to Lainna and Dave he put his arm under my chin and sofetly choked me so i couldn't talk... and layed ontop of me. both of us were fully clothed but eh started humping me.... basically thrusting up into my ass. i knew if he stayed any longer he would probably rape me. but i couldn't move at all... and him beign drunk i was faraid he really would choke me too much.
he whispered into me ear as he continued to hump me... "you don't understand how hot you are, i want you so bad.... ahhhh ... i masterbate to you all the timmmee... sometimes it helps me finish, (he started humping me faster and harder) i don;t know if its trhe way you dress.... all punky and some bad ass chick.... or the fact that your up for naything even sex, or the fact that you cna take me choking you ... ahhh.... you are so wild in bed! your the best i ever had...." he went on about all of this for a while longer.... i was still worried.... finally he got up. i layed there for a second in disbileaf and then got up myself.... he layed on the bed and said "just.... give me ....a .. second" i looked at him.... and went into the kitchen. i took a deep breath and came back shoulders back.... confident and ready for him to do it again because i would have seriously pumled him. he said "sorry about that, but i know you liked it too" and left. i ran upstairs after locking the door behind him and went straight into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and washed my face and neck and ears where he had kissed me and sucked on my lobes.
when i was done i went into my room and looked ta the clock - 5AM - h had been there for almost 2 hours. i was a little upset, i mean what if i had gone to his house? i was not impressed. i decided that he hadn't raped me or anything and there was no point in telling anyone. but he knows where i live. i haven't ve told my boyfriend Garry. i told Sara today and that is it. Sara is worried because he dose know where i live. i don;t think he ill stop by uninvited though.
but he did say before he left that if i told anyone he was here he would just deny it. when i told Sara she said "ya cuz everyone woudl bileave him! fuck that. you don;t lie and you would NEVER lie about something as serious as thta." i have to agree i have good creditability... and even his friends would bileave me before him. but i see no reason in saying anything. im going to let it pass. im still a little shookin up about it but it had caught me off guard.
Later Days!
*~Ashley~*