another night where i cried myself to sleep... thinkin bout bryan and how much he doesnt understand... thinkin bout how much hurt it has caused me and why i cant go back but how bad i want to... seems again as if suicide is my best friends, and my free pass to a better llife. woke up... tears still on my face... i fell out around maybe 4:20-4:45 and got up at 5:20 maybe.... i cried in my sleep. woke up sick again too... ran to the bathroom thinking i was gana be sick but then felt fine... its not cool soooo not cool... it happens around lunch and right when i wake up... lunch is about 11-ish lol but i could wish 4 anything but a baby... i dont think bryan would help pay 4 it... thus the 3rd reason 4 getting my new job... the other 2 reasons are to fill up my schedule and b/c bryan will be working 24/7 soon and that will kill me :( i dont care about the money i just want away from this house and my family and i dont want to sit here thinking about bryan flirting with girls at his work... *u gada understand thats the kinda person he is... most of u would say not b/f material... he even had the nerve to called me obsessive! but its not pulled me back from loving him anymore... well im off to get dressed so i can go to school... leave some comments while im in hell... ill be back around 5 tonight hehehe (dunno if im able 2 go to the game... dunno if i even want to now... :(