Bryans Entry BaCk 2 Ya RoO September 24, 2003 Feeling: breathless Yeah, you seen it, i am breathless, for once in muh life i have really felt like sam and i are going to make it after all. It does make me happy, and it also makes me relize of how great of a person samantha is, no matter how hard of times we have been through and no matter how close we were to actually walking away from eachother, and no matter how many times she could find in her heart to forgive me for messin up(hey i am not the smartest dude in the world), she still found it in her heart to never turn her back on me..........NOW I DON'T CARE WHAT NEYAW SAY, THIS IS A REALLY LOVING WOMAN. now i know we have fought to the point were i didnt think she was that lovin of a person, but in the end, we did make it, i am not saying this is the end of us, but the end of the fighting, i feel. but yeah, alot went down since the last time i wrote in here, i almost died(O.D. on aderol and oxi-coton), i thought i lost sam, i was diagnosed with depression(funny......i dont feel depressed), i was recognized by the school nurse of my self mutilated body of mine. and sam and i made the smartest decission of our lives. ima tell you ppl about that before i go any further writing back to muh baby. Sam and i were like so fucked up for life i thought, i didnt think there was anything to save us, we were constantly fighting and tormenting eachother about the past..... and when all hope was gone, there was one last tear, and one last strength of love to try it again, but different..........starting over, having our first kiss and everything........and i actually think it will work, but le me tell ya, it is a hard thing to go from fucking everytime we are together, whcih was once a week, and we humped like at least 3 times a day when we were....to nothing, i can't really help muhself, i have broken the rules a lil, i am alway having muh hands on her, but it is like i forget how we are starting over, and muh hands are magnets to her. But yeah, ima try not to be so feely feely with her till our REAL first kiss(again). But yeah anyways to you sam: Sorry i signed off baby, i was callin muh mom to let her know i am not getting muh hair cut. When i asked you i asked you cuz i really didn't feel as hot as chad to you anymore. But umm, yeah said i have nothing to worry about, even knowing that you liked him makes me jelouse inside, and now you were telling me that you think he is hott and you want him, now that just makes me want to die, cuz just the meer thought of us starting over and you are already wanting a guy...:( lol, but i can deal. I am glad you understand, and yes i am whipped, but ya know, i really don't care, cuz you do mean that much to me, that much to me to give up something like that, but like i said, i didn't want to finally give it up and us not make it...I mean that was something sean and i did, and if i give it up, it is like we won't be doing something we promised to do when he comes back, but it isn't like he will hate me for it, there are other things we can do every once in a bit, and odn't worry baby, it won't be all the time, and it surely won't be something to hurt our love/relationship. But this time will work. I guess what does scare me that right when we are starting over, you already have private entries about a guy you think is hot, it just doesn't seem like it is a great start.....But i have a whole different way of having faith.... I am trying not to get jelouse easy, but don't get upset if i do, cuz you gotta know i am trying to hold it back.. But baby, i love carressing your neck wtih muh hands, i know it is too fealy for you, but sometimes i just can't deal, i had to tdoay. But i talked to sean and looks like the first time we sleep together is going to be another planned date, and guess what it is actually really close to the last time we planned..............*2 WEEKS*.............:) HEH HEH. well hunnie, i am out. oh yeah, can you please not make private entries unless it is hidden from everyone else but me. Can i have your password i will give you mine, lol, reminded me of * if you show me yours i will show you mine *. :D TO OUR NEW BEGINING(that will really happen) *XOXO XOXO XOXO XOXO XOXO*(i could kiss you like this forever) (11-14-02) ^ ^ ^ ^ >'.''.'< br> * * Sam + Bryan = LOVE (kinda childish + i am not good at making pictures like sam is, her bunn bunnz are cute, but neways they are kats)*i am dumb and inlove*