so its 4 in the morning and sleep doesnt come easily... what to do? lol well i just got done watching the 'all things rock count down' "numb" was #1 that made me smile a bit! p.o.d was fucking #4 that pissed me off grr. but anyways i miss bryan dearly. i dont have school today or tommorrow... thats fantasic cuz i need a break from those hypocritalsteriotypical douchbagloserassholishfuckingPEOPLE.... yea i said it... lol random thought here.... why are *KIDS* sleeping with other KIDS so fucking young these days? i know i thought i was left behind when i was 15 and was still a virgin and now that i think about it... jesus christ what was i thinking! lol THANX 4 HELPING US KEEP THE SPREAD OF HIV AND AIDS GOING THERE CHILDREN! jesus christ whens our society going to gain some sense? ugh my fucking 13 year old sister complains how she wants to lose it all the time and how her friends sleep with guys older than i. ewww.. sry but i was just speaking my thought. i mean i dont think people should even start thinking about sex till AT LEAST UNTIL THERE ARE LIKE 16-18 i know 16 might be pushin it but bryan slept with me when he was 16 and he knew the consequences and all that good shit... so ill slip that down a bit just cuz sum people can be mature about it... anyways on a much lighter note... seth left me a comment in the last entry saying he left a comment in that girls diary *as did bryan* ok THIS GUY IS BEYOND SWEET! not 2 say bryans not... but he's sorta to blame ya know? but yes bryan *sweet angel* i loved the fact that u took all the shit off my shoulders onto ur own! ((thats the best thing u have ever or could ever have done 4 me... how many guys would do that 4 their g/f's? not many or any at all!)) but yea seth did the same... and i barely know the guy... he stood up 4 a girl who was about to get hit by her b/f last week... now he's dating her.... its like a hero type fairy-tale. seth is the most polite sweet person ever.... i hope they are very happy together =) ok so yea.... im not tired... im only ever tired during the middle of the day and i get sick a lot... im starting to see things and ive had this one straight head-ache for 34 days... my hallucinations are creepy... ill explain them another entry but yea, time 4 me to go see a doctor about the violent behavioral mood swings and the hallucinations.... no more depression pills tho or im fucking OUT OF THERE! and i might need a shrink 4 family trama and stress control *issues with being to violent... hurting myself and OTHERS* hahaha but I DONT NEED TO BE SAT THERE AND TOLD WHY ITS 'BAD TO CUT YOURSELF' those type deals piss anyone off... specially if u havent cut yourself in years. 'like me' uhhmmhmm... grrr! thinking about it doesnt make it happen... god damn! anyways my day with bryan was great, i miss him and his sweet kisses, his smell his soft warm skin against mine, damnit i just miss everything... im used to his hair cut! its growing a bit and looks shaggy and adorable! but yea i wish he was here... it seems i can only sleep when he's with me :/ and im wishing on a falling star that ill be able to see him b4 wednesday :( 4 days till our *1 year* i have half an idea of what to do and all! lol i just want it to be sweet! ps. i did some mouse-overs... like them hehe