i still believe strongly that we have something no1 else does, and i believe its not some petty teen age shit. weve been threw so much over this year... well it'll be a year in (9days) i was thinking about it all today after the fight we had... i used to look at him from across the room in 1st period and think to myself: i could never get with someone like that, im just not that lucky :( but low and behold that faithful day him and glennda split and i sat near him and talked to him and spent resource sitting near him and watching him sleep on the window seal in the annex classroom :D what an adorable lil angel he was. then there was the long weekend and i skipped school monday :/ then he got online and imed me that night *funny cuz i had been trying to find his s/n 4 ever!* he told me he was gana tell me he liked me that day but i didnt go :( but then right away he asked me out :) -thats kinda upsetting in a way, he replaced glennda so quickly i had fear he'd do the same 2 me- but its been a year and threw the break-ups and make-ups we still hold strong but the past is a bitch sometimes... i believe him when he says they didnt mean anything and didnt compare 2 me but it just hurts that i sat and cried while he moved on i feel like im not good enuff 4 him sometimes... but he seems 2 always make me feel better by telling me im prettier than any of the girls he messed with over winter. lemme tell ya tho... i get a high from walking down the halls with him hanging on my waist as we pass by one of those girls from the winter. they always look, awww jealousy. im sure no guy in the world compares 2 half of what he is :/ it scares me to think about possibly ever losing him :( i know ive made mistakes and tried 2 seak revenge with brian kelly and mitchell but no1 compares to my bryan. no1 ever will. i dont think it would be possible 4 me to love again :( i think back and remember the 1st time he camed to my house, the 1st i went to his, our 1st kiss under that blanket looking at the stars *it was sooo cold* that was right b4 x-mas :) the 1st time i told him i loved him the night b4 x-mas (and get this- it started to snow, and we havent had snow hear on x-mas eve in 4 ever) our 1st date, our 1st sexual experiences hehe, new years and that incredible kiss, valentines day ((all those sweet gifts he bought me)) easter :( how we sat in the feild and cried all day b/c i found out about chelsy :'( but he bought me a million gifts a few days b4 that and they were great. i remember the 1st time we had sex :) it was the best night of my life even tho it was the most pain i ever felt in my life. i think about the night he said he wanted to marry me, the night he rode his bike to my house *4 the 1st time*, the night he fought the 3 guys 4 me and mel, the night the girl imed me and told me she tried to makeout with him while he was at his dads but he pushed her away, the contests... like 50 days, talking about our future, everything :) but i also remember the bad :( the lies the cheats the drugs, all the time he used to spend with his friends in the beginning, all the fights, the 1st time he yelled at me :( it all stuck as well :( but love isnt perfect. i actually dont know why i wrote this? it was just what i was thinking about... made me smile then cry at the same time to think weve made it so far after so long even threw the hurt. speaking of hurt... my knees kill, either its going to get cold real fast or its gana rain like a bitch. eh. anyways me and bry brys relationship has been very filling and evens out with the pain the tears the joys that happyness the good days and bad... and everything in between. without the bitter u would never know how sweet the sweet is. we got threw that and made it, and isnt it true that the 1st year is the ruffest? lol people fight, its what makes us human :) i love him and thats all i care about. he's stood by me in the worst times... he didnt leave me threw any of the things we suffered and he needs kissed 4 that. 9 days and ill be looking back with every detail of everything we been threw. i also need an idea of what to do 4 our anniversary :/