this diary has become my only outlet. no1 else can relate but myself, so i write to myself... to the world... to you. so people know i go threw the same things as they have gone threw. a friend to talk to in time of need, thats what i am and will always be. im not real to you im only a name and a bunch of bad memories in a list formed on the right side of the screen. my life my book in chapters, or so it seems. ------------------------------------------ omg. i went to lay down cuz i felt sick from crying, like i was getting dry heaves. so i come back and turn on the tv... wuthering heights is on... i cry with happyness 4 some reason? also with saddness because the part where heath fucks isabell was on and it reminded me of bryan and mitchell and i. i guess im just big on crying today. then i go to my comp and bryan has emailed me and imed me 10 billion times. he said: Toxictouch [11:24 AM]: hey Toxictouch [11:24 AM]: sam Toxictouch [11:24 AM]: come back Toxictouch [11:24 AM]: it's bryan Toxictouch [11:24 AM]: i'm at school Toxictouch [11:53 AM]: i am gonig baby Toxictouch [11:53 AM]: bye Toxictouch [11:53 AM]: nice tlaking to nothing Toxictouch [11:53 AM]: peace Toxictouch [11:53 AM]: talk to you when i get home Toxictouch [11:53 AM]: maybe i will have mitch take me to see you give you a kiss tell you i lvoe you then go home and do my homework and clean a lil Toxictouch [11:53 AM]: love you bunches Toxictouch [11:53 AM]: xoxo and on my aim he said: Toxictouch: sam Toxictouch: come on Toxictouch: okay, well, i love you Toxictouch: i am going to go okay Toxictouch: i hope mitch isn't there Toxictouch: okay Toxictouch: bye the emails he wrote were b4 he read my diary and after: B4: I am in second period while you are at home with mitch, it just hit me taht you said he was coming today, on OUR 11 MONTH anniversery. you are with him. I was so excited to see you today then i got here with a big dissapointment and AFTER: I just wrote you, about mithc, i am sorry. I just want to know if he is there or not. I hope not, i trust that you won't do anything if he was. I read your diary and it made me have this change from being and ass and assuming he was there. i am sorry again, and i love you, i miss you, and happy anniversery(11 months) ONE MORE MONTH BABY! BEY BRYAN THOUGHT MITCHELL WAS HERE! HE ACTUALLY THOUGHT THAT... I THOUGHT BRYAN KNEW ME. IF HE KNEW ME HE'D KNOW I'LL KILL HIM THE NEXT TIME I SEE HIM! ok i need to calm down. im fine. i hope he does get mitchell to bring him over here today. i pray 4 it actually. i want to kiss him and tell him i love him and i want mitchell to see that despite his efforts ME AND BRYAN ARE FOREVER!!!!! i want him to see he ment less to me than i to him. thats gada hurt his 'player ego' i'll prolly get my homecoming pics today or tomorrow. ill post some. ummm i guess thats all i have to say :'/ ------------------------------------------- 2 bryan: If you want to sleep I'll pull the shade If you should vanish I'm sure to fade If you should smolder I'll breathe in your smoke If you should giggle I'll smile and pretend that I made the joke And if you should ever leave me I will crumble That's just the way I am I hope you never leave me That is to say If you should sink I don't want to swim If you lock the door I'll beg to come in If you should sing I won't make a sound If you should fly I'll curse the ground And if you should ever leave me I will crumble That's just the way I am I hope you never leave me That is to say If you're an explosion I won't search for shelter If you're the sun I'll sit here and swelter If you're the moon I'll stay up all night If you're a ghost I'll be haunted for life And if you should ever leave me I will crumble That's just the way I am I hope you never leave me That is to say I will crumble baby PLEASE dont ever leave me! .i.want.this.cd.soooo.bad.