why do we have eyes? i know we need them so we dont run into things and such... but do we really need to see all the useless shit we see... like tv? ok anyways more importantly. i feel very alone. i was uber upset because the lil bit of a father i do have is trying to weasle the rest of his way out of my life. since when is it that.... '18' means get a life get out of mine.... i swear... GUYS!!!! DONT TURN 18!!!! RUN AWAY ITS A BUNCH OF UN NEEDED DRAMA! heres the x-mas card i got from my so called father *today mind u* Sam, Just to let you know now that youre an adult i will no longer be sending you money on your birthday nor x-mas. we can exchange gifts as we get to know each other but i feel the childhood treatment ends at 18. hope you understand this change. welcome to adulthood it actually gets better! merry x-mas rainer man 1 day can change ur whole life... now since im 18 i dont get gifts at all anymore... nothing. my moms 41 and my g-ma still gets her shit on her b-day and x-mas. i hate that fucker! my mom said i could write to him... the note will go a lil summin like this: alright im an adult now... from 17 to 18 what a fucking change. thanks for pushing me away asshole, nope i dont know you dont want to know you, your not invited to me and bryans wedding, you wont see my kids, as far as im concerned i dont have a father, never did. exchange gifts? with what money jackass! hell fucking no im not giving you shit when u up and left our family when i was 3. fuck you for even sending this card... i dont want it... if you want it back go search the dump. good fucking bye jerk. yea and im pretty sure this WILL be written. adults are so fucked in their fucking heads it aint even fucking funny. lol my mom was more upset than me... she said i always have her to lean on if i ever need anything... moneywise or a place to stay when im older. that was a nice thing to say =) i told bryan but he didnt seem very understanding... and with my other issues right now... im on stress over load... i feel like taking a razor to the 'unmarked areas' of my wrists. whats that pill the doctors wanna put me on... damn i 4got. maybe its becoming needed. i hope they can see why... family life is hell.