ok continued from the last entry... we got to sheetz... things were okay. then he seen his friends and vanished. i was sooo pissed! so then he comes up to me yellin at me and shit saying whats ur problem and shit and i was like just let me walk away b4 i get pissed so then he goes back to his friends. i gave up sooo many friends 4 him and he hasnt done shit nothing 4 me but 'spend money' which he commented on as we started yelling and screaming at each other. i got more and more mad as he talked about his friends so i moved to the back... he didnt stop so finally i started talking shit too. then he turns around and said summin that pissed me off and i lost it after all the building up anger. i exploded and punched him in the back. then he kept yellin and i did it again. the next time he turned around after that he called me a bitch and i slapped him. we fucking yelled the rest of the way home then finally he gets out and grabs me and pulls the sweatshirt off my ass and says he never wants to talk to me again and i was a waste of money and of 11 months and he dont know why he was with me. so i slapped him again... and i was gana take a swing but my moms a whore and had to step her bitch ass mouth in. so anyways i hit him a few times slapped him a few too and he yelled and *somehow cut my hand* still duno about that one... and he clawed my arms up grabbing the shirt but its cool. so then we got home and were all talkin about how he called me a bitch and why they woulda slapped him too then mel goes IM CALLING MICHELL (sp?) yea so they are over with gurls and she gets pissed *michell* by the way is bryans friend that was at sheetz... bryan gave us the number... but ill tell u bout me and mich and mel and nicks lil adventures in the next post if i decide to make it public? *they ditched some girls 2 come over 2 our house hahaha* so anyways bryan said he never wanted to talk to me again... i guess its really over? i know ill wake up crying, then when mich and nick come tomorrow they wont understand. i really love bryan and i was trying so hard to trust him. i tried 2 make our day perfect. but when it came down 2 it i lost my temper and decided welp its gone so why not go out with a bang. cuz ya know... from the looks of it he wasnt planning on coming back. i felt like i was being hung on a short leash, for him to pull or let go of whenever shit was *his* way. i wasnt gana sit there and let my life go 2 hell while he got his back so i said its done and blew up. i regret it now cuz i care sooo much 4 him but i cant be played like that i really cant. i read his away msg it made me want to bawl "just want shit back to the way it was last ngiht, just want her to kiss me and tell me she loves me again, just want our life back, a better and meaningful life...." how can he feel that way after all he said and siad he never wanted to talk to me again. last night hasnt changed. i still want to kiss him and tell him i love him. but he wont ever understand how much i feel im being played. so yea then i read his profile and decide YAY 4 MICH!! cuz the asshole wrote some shit on there that just done did made me quite sure theres no *us* he wrote: Hobbies & Interests: SkAtEbOaRdInG, snowboarding, drinkin, tokin, smokin snowboarding? wtf... ohhh yea he gave it up my ass, i dont wanna be with a liar and tokin? hahahah yea rite... i wish he probation officer could see this. it was put there as a front people! or just 2 piss me off. but w/e. ps. his dairy entries made me cry so bad. i mean i cant live with him or without him. i wish life was simple or id die one or the other? welp its 4:30... mich matt and nick just left cuz nick had 2 get up 4 work in 10 minutes and his mom didnt even know where he was. lmao. i can taste the vodka in my mouth. its making me sick. its mixed with pizza eww. weeelll im gana write about the rest of my night but keep it private so i dont piss anyone off. i miss bryan :( i missed him since the second we walked in sheetz because thats when i knew he was gone. 'he once claimed i was all he needed and he'd give up all his friends 4 me bt sean' wtf ever haha. welp im outie... i miss bryan i love him i need him laying next to someone else wont ever compare to laying next to him.