hey guys... oh its been far 2 long. nothing really has happened to me that everyone that matters doesnt already know. therefore.,. me and bryan had a wonderful time monday night which led to rug burn all down my back... but hey, it was worth it. im trying really hard to be a happier person, 4 him. we constantly have our up... down... up down... were gana get back together were not... kinda dealy. he says he wants to be with me but he wants to wait cuz it doesnt feel right yet. i hear this constantly. anyways i got a new comp... but i need to buy a modem which i wont have 4 who knows how long so i decided to update while i was in class. =) ive seen people have had a lot of negetive shit to say but i dont care... bryans done some things recently that are kinda upsetting but he didnt hide them and he said it was nasty as hell anyways. he told me he loves me and still has our things in his room. he sleeps with my puppy too. awww dearest angel. we have been doing good this week so far... seems like my sister needs to back off of him a bit tho. eh. besides bryan and i theres been another guy in my life... billy. but we WONT go there. its like a far away crush lol. i told bryan about it and he told me about his things we decided to be more opened. even tho he wont admit it... i think it all hurts him as much as it all hurts me. we went to walmart and bryan said "were gana have these in our house someday" as he pulled me down to the bathroom stuff hehehe. it was adorable. we made sweet love... where we talked the whole time. and hard sex on the floor too where i got rug burn. this was the 2nd time since we broke up that weve done this. the 1st time was ehhh.... some time b4 v-day... a weekend. he spent the night that night. we held each other the entire time. above anything tho... him talking about our memories as we layed on my bed facing each other and laughing quietly- was the best moment of my life. i closed my eyes and he kissed me. to see him happy, to see him smile, it made it all worth everything. i regret nothing. i love him so much. there was a moment in the car the other night when we went to walmart and i had to sit on his lap cuz the car was full and he looked in my eyes and said i was beautiful. it was adorable. ive been keeping a regular diary... i filled it within 2 weeks. i got the blink 182 cd and taking back sunday which bryan made 4 me. i should have my new comp up and running vury soon =) i miss you all sooo sooo much. oh and yes ive read bryans diary... it kinda hurt but i cant be upset about the past... i said we'd start over fresh =)