[mood]-[] [music]-[numb-linkin park] my birthday is over now. kinda sad that it wont be here 4 another year. school was gr8 today compared to what i been going threw. bryan brought me 3 red roses and heather gave me a pink rose with a cute ass lil card. bryans mommie bought me the linkin park cd. oh my she's gr8. i wanted that sooo bad. i also got a card from derrick and jason bought me a sandwhich at lunch... hehehe brittanie gave me a spiked bracelette, and a million people *some that i didnt even know* said happy birthday. oh and ronnie gave me 2 ciggys. ironic cuz now i can finally buy them by myself. lol but even threw all that it still hurt a bit to see my old friends walk by without saying a word. sometimes i miss them, but then i think to myself... why? i think they started to pull away the same way i did... i spent less time with them and more with bryan. then one day i looked up and realized i was alone. eh. its not so bad the thing is tho.... im souly dependant on bryan ALWAYS being there. i have other friends, and new friends and my best friends, but i depend way too much on him. welp bryan came over after school... the day was fine. we played around, had a great time and all was going gr8. until a damn snowboarding commercial came on. he just had to make me look at the tv and smile. from then until an hour b4 he left we fought. i told him straight up im not putting myself threw that shit again. he told me he wouldnt. now he suddenly does this again. =( so we layed in my bed the last hour he was here and we talked. i told him were over once winter comes and i stand by that. if i did that to him he'd do the same thing EVEN IF he says he wouldnt. i cant take the lies the cheating the secrets none of that shit. and tho its hard now its 50 times that hard in the winter with him snowboarding because of last year. i know it'll be hard for us either way, i just think ill end up trying to hurt myself in the end. i dont understand either how he never has time 4 anything to do with me but will make all this time to go snowboarding every night till im in bed. *we'll be stripped of even talking some days* but thats good cuz it would just be easier to move away from him. i want him to be happy, thats fine he can be happy. he just needs to leave me out of it and leave me go. not yet tho... i said this month and next... everything until december will be fine *like to live it up while it lasts* then ill start to slowly pull away in december then we can break it off at the end. i dont know if we'll get back together after that. i doubt it. ill prolly drop out of school by then and move. he says he cant be friends with me if we slpit 4 good. i understand that but he doesnt seem 2 realize im not going to replace him. not like he has so quickly replaced me so many times. so many people like him... it'll be easy 4 him to move on but he says he wont. tho i know he will, he's a lot of talk. so i need to start parting from him slowly. making new friends, not being so dependant and using my own locker as well as bringing my own lunch 2 school. its an adjustment but i can do it over time. i cried myself to sleep at about 8. i just got up now 2 do laundry and all. i cried on my birthday... well not just this year but the last 4 years. my life sux. and so does yours. lol ps. if ur gana leave a comment dont be a bitch about it. i cant really take that right now. and u have no idea about the pain im going threw. Q&A 8. what would you do with a boyfriend who cant be trusted and breaks promises 24/7?