(Kissing on the 1st date=SLUTTY!) (blondes do have more fun)-guys like us better and..... (im losing my self) what i mean is... lately... well 4 the past 6 months but very recently its gotten bad. ive done things without thinking. i get tempered so easily! and if sum1 pisses me off i lose it and head 4 the knife with intent to make the 'problem' feel pain. i get mad about things from my past... things that may happen in the future... and above all me and bryans past. when i cant hurt someone else i end up taking it out on myself... i find it relaxing to punch the shit out of my legs till they are black and blue... or scratch myself deep with my nails.... dig in hard and pull the skin away. pretend im digging into the 'problem person' and making them scream sometimes the problem isnt even a person or the problem is me... but it always feels the same and a million thoughts of painful memorys run threw my head. i may be going crazy... maybe just maybe? my religion is wicca... white and grey magic... but even with that i caught myself turning at least 6 times to study voodooism or casting forms of torture towards those who did me wrong. *black magic* its like im not always in control... its like i dont want to be... ya know what tho.... IM SORRY GUYS! SORRY I CANT BE PERFECT FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS! on a final note... ~love music or fuck off~ yay 4 my favorite month too.... and my birthday is in 27 days... sweet 18