bryans diary: I just got off the phone w/ sam 10-20 min ago, and i got in the whoer just to sit in there curled up in a lil ball with my head resting on my knees. I have no excitement to go to school tomorrow. Mithch and Jason are talking about picking me up in the morning and taking me to school which i don't htink i want to do. I want to go over to sams after school, but i don't think i am even going to do that. I really don't want to be in a car with mitch. I was hurt REALLY bad this weekend, infact w/ in the last past week.It started thur. night, i wnet to skate church to skate w/ my friends, thinking that sam wouldn't get upset if i did, after all she said she wasn't going to get mad if i chill w/ my friends anymore, well she said she would tryl.When i got homeshe was mad at me. I got upset and told her i didn't want to be w/ her anymore. So we broke up, and i felt so seriouse about doing this like i alwasy feel. Matter of fact I didn't talk to her much at all the next da. When saturday came, i talked to sam a lil bit, I rolled my ankle then started to talk to her again on line. That was when she told me she loved me with all her heart, that she was trying to trust me, and she would do ANTYHIGN for me. Made me think she was serisoue about it. ON sunday, i got to her hosue around 6 she was all w/ me all over me. Iw was great! It made me feel like she was changing, But when they were taking me home her and i got inot a HUGE fight, and i told her i never wanted to talk to her again in my life(long story) So she then droppied me off after giving the rig i got her back to me. When she got home she was trying to talk to me on the internet while i was bawling my eyes out. Then these guys came over to her house and i tmade me past hurt/sad/mad,,,, It made me furiouse, i was pissed cuz they were MY friends there. Well to make a long story shout she kissed+gave him a h/j+ rubbed he body. It killed, made me cry harder and die slower. Then knowing me, i cry to her, fogive her, and except her back. Even after she hurt me more w/ the honest fact that she loved his kiss......more than mine and he had a bigger dick,....than mine. BUT HEY! she was being honest right? i'll foggive her ONE more time, even though it will be many more times. I love this girl and i mean it when i say it, not like her. I am nto going to fuck around anymore, have fun. I am going to FUCKING MAKE THIS WORK. I am going to win MY kiss back, i am going to get the love from MY heart to her again, and most of all i am goingt o live MY life with her. God please help us along the way. Sam, i want you to know I LOVE YOU. Diary..... I want sam to love everything about me again. I want to be the only one. That is my mission. Goodnight It is 2nd pd. I am getting the pont taht my baby isn't here for our begining of our 11th month together. ONE MORE MONTH, CAN'T WAIT!! I really wish she was here today. I am really missing her badly. I am really down because MITHC don't have school and sam is at home. It is scaring the shit out of me that mitch is over tehre. God i hope not- if he is i am going to bellieve and trust whatever sam says. WELL, maybe if i am luchy she will come to school late. Better thatn nothin. I woul drun up to her and squeeze her against my and bury her face into my neck. I don't think i will kiss her cuz i am still in pain from finding out that she loves mitches kiss. more thatn mind, I don't think i will let her do anything with my dick for al ong time untill i guet scrue with my body again. Well i am going to go PEACE it just hit me that she stayed home for him, she told me yesterday that he was coming over today. I wonder if i should fall back to her with my stupidity again. Gof for him on our 11 month anniverseryBYE! In 3rd period i wrote sam two emails and i imed her a few times....secretly though, i f i would have gotten caught i wouldn't be abld to get on the computer anymore. She didn't email me back or come back form being away. ofcourse the first thing that pops in my head is her and mitch, i have to stop thinking like taht, i have to trust my angel......Plus she woudln't do that to me.She promised. I love her so much. I don't know how many times i have to beg you god to let my roo and i work out, but i am on my knees beggin. Please god be by our side, guding and protecting us. I am excited to graduate and me and my baby moving to cali and starting our lives/future over again. I love my roo. Don't let her get hurt by anyone ever again. :+:im hurting:+: