fuck titles. fuck guys too. seriously i'm becoming asexual. lesbianism is not an option because i cant fucking stand girls. except for my best friend. and she shouldnt even be my friend anymore, because im a terrible person. this whole issue has consumed me. i am so unmotivated and i just dont care about anything or anyone. thinking about what he was doing and saying to me makes to want to puke. i dont want to think. but its all i do. i hate him i hate him i hate him how am i even going to go to school. there are already two people i need to avoid because im "not allowed" to be friends with them anymore. and now him too. im supposed to be going out tonight. i know i need to see people other than my family but i dont want too. it rained at soccer today. it poured. but i stayed late to help my coach put away everything because i needed the rain. its raining again and i just want to go outside and walk and walk and walk and walk away from everything here.