it seems suitable that i start writing in here again now that im back at university and am looking for ways to avoid doing work. i already deleted facebook again haha. i could talk about how great my summer was... but i wont. makes me sad. makes me wish that i could just be a teenager forever. working, shopping, soccer, partying. but now that i am in my second year it is slowly hitting my harder, more and more everyday, that those days are dwindling. i wonder if i will be okay with it when they are finally gone.. because im definately not now. anyways. im taking 5 classes this year instead of 4. i have a lot of f-ing work today and i dont even know where to start. and im in CALCULUS which is hilarious to me because i am so bad at math. ive considered dropping it about a million times already but i guess im just going to have to suck it up and get it over with. i am also in: neuroscience, cognitive psychology, methods of experimental psychology, and sociology. soccer has been pretty demanding. havent had a day off since uhhh before it started? haha. but we are undefeated thus far even though we played like SHIT today and tied 0-0. and im still not playing even though i KNOW i can do everything our other keeper can do. i am absolutely determined to get some playing time this year. just you wait. i miss braeden a lot. much much more than i did last year. i think its because im not being bombarded with guys like i was at the beginning of a last year. i really need to meet someone new, even if they wont mean anything to me other than acting as a distraction. it would at least put me in a better mood, knowing that someone else wants me, because i dont even know if braeden misses me... cause he only tells me that he does when he is drunk. in all likelihood he is playing the same game as i did, but i cant help doubting that. when i really want to hate him i read about all the shit he put me through at the end of high school.. but it works for about an hour. anyways i guess i should go read..... i have a midterm this week. byebye