its friday. im not going out. i might get high with celia and watch eastern promises alone. but i dont know. smoking weed always sends me on a guilt trip. i always thought i was stronger than this. everything i do sends me on a guilt trip.. because i am trying so hard to perfect. i get mad at myself when i have NAPS because i want to have a perfect sleeping schedule. i get mad at myself when i eat anything slightly unhealthy because i want to have a perfect diet. i get mad at myself when i spend too much time on the computer because i feel like i should be studying or working out or being with my friends or reading. ANYTHING but being on the computer. i need to relax soo badly and maybe i feel like weed is the only that will help. and thats why im weak. i shouldnt need any substance to aid me in anyway. i guess on a happier note the next couple weeks are going to be pretty sickk. first of all, i got 88 on my psych midterm =) my soccer team banquet is tomorrow and then we are having a team party that is sponsored by molson. and sunday we are going to have a game against the canada games team. so that should be.. interesting. next weekend is jasons wangs birthday, and then a varisty athlete dodgeball tournament (aka drunk fest and im so fucking excited) and then a varsity night at the campus bar (which i am currently banned from but we are working on sneaking me in). and then the next thursday is ATHLETIC BANQUET !!! which is basically the event of the year. omg omgogomg. i still have a lot of work to do though. so i plan on doing it tonight and sunday. - paper on "a sweetness in the belly" - bio lab - psych oral presentation - psych essay - paper on a historical event in the 20th century (i think im going to do the genocide in cambodia) - geography booklet and i have to register for all my classes for next year... aka declare my MAJOR and essentially my life. the next couple weeks of my life should be interesting.......