that my last entry was deleted. it obviously had to happen to that one where i poured my fucking heart out, guhhh. i like to read them later and figure myself out. as of now, i am still unfigured.

its 1:17am, and my exam is in 11 hours. i am going to fail. its really horrible that i sit here and acknowledge that fact but still dont do anything about it. what is wrong with me??? :(. im really really really lonely. but what gets me is there are 3 boys right now who genuinely like me and would probably love to make me happy. why am i not interested? why do i only like brendan and why dont i do anything about it? i have always have more questions for myself than i do answers.

i should have gone to the library today, all day. because then i wouldnt go on the internet. im actually one of those people who reads perezhilton.com and i ACTUALLY watched jersey shore tonight. how disgusting am i? i hate myself for being remotely interested in any of that. and the thing is,im NOT interested. i hate celebrities. but i will do anything to not do school work. which is strange because i love school. im just going in circles. blogging is not helping tonight.