i cant study soo perhaps if i write out everything thats on my mind right now, i will have cleared it and made room for more information. -i just read this random girls entry whining about hooking up with this boy and freaking out about it cause she doesnt know if god would be mad at her or not. this made me realize that i do not believe in god at all anymore. -i am switching my major next year to health promotion, and now that ive decided this, i wonder why it took me so damn long in the first place. im obsessed with health in every aspect. this program is essentially perfect and will open me up to soo many careers in something that i absolutely love. psychology just isnt it for me. there are a few very specific things that i could read all night and day, but to get to the career i actually want in it, it would probably take me 20 years. fuck that. this is what i said i was going to do from the beginning anyways; try out psychology for a year and see if it really is for me. its not. and now i dont even have to switch schools! hopefully i can be done in 5 years (so 3 more after this) and use up my 5 years of eligibility for soccer. im excited to tell my parents. -i just got my period and i wonder if thats the reason i cant stop inhaling carbs. im seriously just sitting here shoveling granola into my mouth. even though i am eating healthy, i am eating WAY too much and its not good. probably sounds like i have a serious eating disorder, but i assure you i dont. i am just way to health concious for my own good. -im texting B right now and i miss him miss him miss him. my inbox keeps getting full and it's annoying me but i dont want to delete these old texts from him yet and i dont know why because they are the ones that made me really mad at him a couple days ago. -tomorrow is slyes birthday but my day is packed and i havent gotten her her bday gift yet. i have to study all morning, exam at 1230, go downtown with her at 130, do a 3 hour psychology experiment at 3, go directly to soccer at 6, finish at 7. go to my room and do my stats assignment thats due the next day. and then pass out because im going to get max 2 hours of sleep tonight. -i have to find someone to sublet my room for the summer or else im out $2400 aka fucked. and i need to get some serious employment over the summer but im scared i wont be able to cause of this *ECONOMIC CRISIS*. i think i want to work at a gym full time during the day (or some other type of health facility, ie-physioclinic, doctors office), and get a serving job in the evening at pub, NOT a family restaurant. as much as i love kids, i do not want to fucking serve them. serving in general is a shitty fucking job but it makes the most moneeeyyyy. i want to work somewhere close, that i could bike ride to instead of drive. -in the summer i want to eat organic. and take yoga classes twice a week. i want B to be my boyfriend and to just be really really good together. i want to just sleep at his house on the weeknights when we are both exhausted from our jobs and working out, but still want eachothers company. i am quite certain this wont happen but it would be really great if it could. in the summer im going to ask him about us, because if he doesnt want to be official, even just over the summer, then i dont really want to see him at all. i think i deserve that from him.. even just over the summer... -in order to be an academic all canadian next year i need to get 4 A+s, and 1 A this semester. no less. i am very determined. mostly for my parents sake. but also because i KNOW that i could easily be on deans list if i put in an ounce of effort. but i just am so much better at finding other things to do haha. -ive started taking omega-3 fatty acid supplements everyday and i think they have really improved my mood and alertness. i wonder if its all in my head though. ive also been taking calcium supplements and i wonder if thats why i dont have cramps this period. usually im inhaling ibuprofen at this point. see i am OBSESSED with health. i am meant to change my major. man i am excited. i want to call my house but it is a 3 hour time change. since its 2am here... it would be 11pm there, and i think they will all be asleep. -my room is a disgusting mess and i need to put my clean laundry away. but i also need to STUDY. kk im gonna go now. my brain feels much lighter. thank you "online blog"