im sitting in the library right now.. attempting to start a huge paper that was due 6 hours ago. instead of writing it for the past month and a half, i have instead sat there dreading it and complaining about it. i am very angry at myself for this and have decided that i need to change. i have decided that i am going to fake being the person i want to be until i become the person i want to be. i want to be the person who makes everything look so easy. who just does things without struggle. who doesnt question everything that they do. wonder if its bad or not. and be confident about it. im going to suck it and get this paper done as soon as possible but as good as i can do it. im going to go out this weekend and have an amazing time. but i wont be hungover after because i dont want to be. (i know that i will be but i will fake it and pretend im not until i feel better). i think it really does come down to sucking it up. dont complain about your circumstances. do something about them. i have realized this even more now because one my roommates is extremely depressed (with good reason). i hate watching it because ive been there too and i know there isnt really anything i can do to help her. im trying though.. she has all these papers due and im trying to get her to come to the library, but i think she is just going to ignore me. im not going to stop trying though. i wont give up on her.