these are the two things that are making me feel better: i love college by asher roth and sunscreen song lyrics that i have taped up on my wall. i love college makes me happy because it reminds me that i am supposed to be having fun in university, not stressing about stupid assignments, people, or situations. youre only in university once right? may as well have the time of your life.

my favorite quotes from the sunscreen song:

"dont worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algrebra equation by chewing bubblegum" [just live my life and take what comes]

"enjoy your body, use it every way you can" [im doing yoga, playing basketball, volleyball, and soccer, and going to the gym regularly]

"get to know your parents, you'll never know when they'll be gone for good" [this is especially significant because i keep having dreams about my dad dying and they are earth shattering]

"understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on" [i am making a concious effort to be a better friend to those i care about most - mainly laurie, slye, emily, byron, and craig]

"don't expect anyone else to support you" [focusing on budgeting my money - groceries and alcohol -, and getting a job]

and most significantly - "dont be reckless with other people's heart, and dont put up with people who are reckless with yours" i need to talk to craig and be honest about how i feel. he doesnt deserve this. i have felt what he feels now and that pain has ruined me. i wish i wasnt so terrified to talk about feelings to anyone except this blog. and i will also not put up with people who dont treat me well.

i am slowly trying to make myself okay, by being everything but perfect. maybe perfectionism and my constant schedules and to-do lists are really whats driving me mad?