i am just so miserable these days. its like my second/third week at university and im supposed to be so stoked on everything but im not. i had an awful fever the other day and was completely delusional.. i was basically screaming at my mom over the phone because she couldnt help me. i apologized the day after, but i was seriously going crazy. i woke up about 6 times covered in cold sweat. i would have been sleeping naked if i didnt have a roomate. now i think im getting strep or some other sickness that has to do with throat swelling because i can no longer swallow/talk. and its hard to get better because i have 2 hour soccer practice everyday and no access to any medicine. im not even dressing for todays game. i think thats just mortifying... fuck. i hate this shit, because i know im better than one of the other goalie on the team, its just that they would rather her play because the team knows her better. im so antisocial too, i basically talk to 2 guys in my res because they are the only people i like. they are sweet though, i enjoy hanging out with them. i bet everyone else thinks im a bitch though, and everyone else has already formed their own groups and i havent because i dont have time/motivation to care. im not alllowed to get wasted for another month, which is fucking stupid if im not even going to be playing. and then there are all the other things that are wrong with me that im not going to get into because i feel wierd about writing them on the internet. man it would be nice to have a person to talk to instead of writing in a fucking online diary. its funny because i dont usually swear that much because it sounds trashy