ive wanted to write in here for a while. but sitdiary hasnt been working. just for me? or everyone else too? whatever. it's not like we're friends. i've just been on the verge of tears lately. im sure its just PMS but i hate feeling like this. my ankle is all fucked up and no doctor knows whats wrong with it. so i havent been able to play soccer. all ive been doing is getting drunk and smoking weed and eating like shit! and sitting around. im getting so out of shape and i can almost feel myself deteriorating inside. i feel like im already getting fat. im greasy, im to lazy to shower regularly. fuck. i need to get my shit together, and im just using my fucking ankle issue as an excuse. but i cant run.. which i think is something i need to be doing. i feel like if i could start running again, then everything would turn around. but im sure once im better, i wont fucking run because im a lazy piece of shit. but im not going to do this anymore. here is what i need to do: -save my money ( stop buying disgusting food) -change my availability at work so im working waayyy more -take all my antibiotics and antinnflamatories for my ankle, and all my medications for everything else thats wrong with me. -start running again. and working out. -change my diet. no more fucking ice cream. seriously that shit is gonna kill me. antioxidants, complex carbs, protein and goooood fats. -start being nicer and more friendly. be a good person and do not be a shut in when i feel like shit. and even when i do feel like shit, remain positive in front of others. -stop smoking weed. -studdyyyyy harrrrrrrrddddd for social diploma and ace it. -get registered for classes at dalhousie. -write mean letter to parking 'officials' at u of c about my fucking parking tickets -do something about the $100 cheque i lost. -stop fucking up and give my parents a reason to be proud of me. -get HOT again before i go to mexico -buy laurie the best birthday present ( maybe plan a surprise of some sort) -plan for camping. -dont waste time on computer or tv. make use of all free time.. always have things to do. -stop being miserable. ok. so maybe ill write this list on a piece of paper so ill actually refer to it. well..... here goes nothing.