I had a dream last night that I was murdered. He came in the dark and slit my throat and I could feel like blood oozing out of my neck and I could feel my life oozing out of me at the same time. I knew I was dying and there was nothing I could do. And I died. I was so scared in the dream, I knew there was a killer on the loose and I knew he was going to come to my home. I remember thinking that all I wanted to do was go to craigs apartment because then I wouldnt be so scared. And now today I feel all mixed up. The dream woke me up in the middle of the night. Dreams neevvvver do that to me. Fuck I was so scared. I really thought I was dead. I never want to feel that way, I never want to feel my life leaving me.

Im thinking about giving craig a chance. No idea how I would go about doing it though. My entire reading week I have spent listening to my roommates cry. It has taken so much out of me and I just want to tell them to fucking suck it up. Life is hard, your going to get your heart broken. I did this summer and I dealt with it all on my fucking own. Im still dealing with it but you dont see me bawling my eyes out in every room of the house, forcing people to listen me, saying the same 5 things over and over again as if its going to change reality, asking people for hugs.

I actually fucking hate when girls ask for hugs.

ugh im mixed up. i need people to leave me alone for a while. i just want to hang out in an empty library and go for a long run on a cloudy day.