it feels like someone stabbed a bitcher knife down my throat. sorry for the visuals but it really hurts and i dont know how i would have gotten sick. maybe its just from stressing myself out like nobodies business.

so i wrote the exam and it actually went DECENT... its like the only things i studied were what was on it. i was able to answer 6 out of the 7 questions. the 7th i had no idea, but i gave pretty kiick ass answers for the first 6. i could barely text on my phone after cause my hand hurt so much from writing continuously for 3 hours. soooo glad its over. i just have physiology, anatomy and a paper (2) to write. no sweeeaaat i hope.

i just cant wait for this semester to be over and for me to get all this shit out of my system. like after exams i will have 3 full days completely to myself before i go home, where i can just my thoughts and my body together. then i can go home, relax, get drunk with my friends, eat some home cooked meals, have a nice christmas with my family. i think we will actually all get along this time and im excited for that. my dad changed my flight so i get to stay for an extra 2 days now.. 9 days is better than 7. then its a new year, a new semester, and im really determined to make this year great, get B completely out of my system. because he really fucked me over this entire year. now that i think about it, i have spent THIS ENTIRE YEAR since new years (party at my house) thinking about him and being sad about him and knowing secretly that it was all going to end. climax being in may when it did all end... and the denoumet has carried on for 7 more months than i would like. starting jan. 1, it will all be over. i swear it.

i hate when people get all stupid about it being new year and it being a new them and whatnot, but i realize now that sometimes you have to do that, because its the only thing that gives you hope that things will get better. i now know what i have to do to succeed at school because i know im obviously smart enough to be here, but i could be (and will be) and a straight A student if i just manage my time properly. im going to start doing hot yoga, im going to get a job, and soccer is going to be funn and ill be playing intramurals too. and im going to tegan and sara AND city and colour!! and im bringing my snowboard back here and emily is bringing her skis so hopefully ill be able to go snowboarding a fair amount. in the new year i just want to be healthy and fit, get good marks, and have a stupid amount of fun. TOO MUCH FUN haaha.. ok im going to make dins then head to the library