ughhhhhhhhh CM just told slye that he intends on confessing his love for me TO ME very soon. god hes going to ruin everything! i tried to get her to get it across to him that i dont like him and that him confronting me will ruin our friendship and he didnt get it, or he chose to take his own meaning from it. i dont think i can make it ANYMORE obvious that i dont like him. except that i continue to hang out with him, and text him. but not flirtatiously. not in the slightest. i mean, he's my best guy friend, obviously we are going to hang out.

whatever. fuck it. i dont care. im going to have to start breaking hearts sooner or later. may as well get some practice because i intend on breaking a lot now that i am free. i dont know what exactly happened to get me to the place that i am now, but not caring about guys feels really awesome. i almost feel the way a guy feels who has tons of bitches after him. and he doesnt care about any of them. the difference is, im not fucking any of them. i feel so arrogant saying this, but ive been strung along and hung out to dry SO MANY TIMES that its nice to get a little payback. or at least send a message. my confidence is increasing and im not even faking it :) thismustcontinue