hmmm.... so whats new? desiree and i have been hanging out again. yay. we make ourselves feel better the morning. afternoon. after by making elaborate plans of supermodel diets and excercise plans. it makes me feel good. lol. im such miss i like bodies healthy. but i enjoy making these severe, unrealistic diets. its fun. i dont know why. i guess im happy with my body. i mean, i am. but its fun to pretend that we could both be bombshells if only we ate these certain things. only fun. and it makes self control not hurt so bad. i really was having trouble with the whole self control thing for a while which wasnt good. but now im not. i kinda enjoy being a little harsh on myself. grrr! hehe. emily. hmm what to say with us? she seems down. i hate it when shes down. and right now i kinda feel like im a bad guy to her. i dont know why. and i dont like it. but i feel like shes either trying to hate me, or finding reasons to. and making me seem like a cold hearted enemy. and i dont see why that has to be. because im not. and its no fair to make me one. because i could never turn her into my enemy for real, so i just get scared when i feel like shes gonna hate me or ive done something wrong. and then i shut up. and keep my distance. which is probably the wrong thing to do. what else? hmm... oh, i learned a valuable lesson which is to never dress myself when im stoned. i ended up looking like a complete idiot. i had old skool vans on with brown (but cute) old man golf socks on and a denim skirt and a blank tank top and a hot pink tiny windbreaker. and bright jewelry. i looked like a complete stoned idiot. so theres a no-no. when you think your from the 80s, you really arent. and your not who you feel like. dont try to dress like who you feel like. gawd i looked like a complete idiot. never again. sober is the way to get dressed. anything else? oh. i figure that coffee makes u shit a lot so its good for losing weight. even though it has calories in it. so im lost at this. please post a comment if u know the truth. oh, me and desiree have found out wonderful ways to lose weight which makes me feel better about myself. it makes me feel smart and beautiful. but i swear i luv myself the way i am. ps. im going to get sea monkeys to keep at desirees as a pet. man, those are the best pieces of shit ever.