theres something about looking at and learning to like things i hate. i really like it. im interested in my face. as soon as i pick up my camera from emilys, im going to take pictures of the side of my face. im very interested in it. ive always hated it and the whole world can see it except me. im going to take pictures and stare at them. i want to know what i look like. maybe ill take pictures of my stomach too. from the side. you never really see the side of yourself. my stomach is much bigger, and i kind of like it sometimes. i dont like being unhealthy, but my belly is kinda cozy. i should lose it when winter ends, but i must say, its cuddly. maybe thats why santa has one. maybe im learning to accept shapes better. my jutting jaw that makes me look like the moon is actually not that bad. sure, its not beautiful to most people, but its interesting. its something physical about me thats different, and the fact that i never liked it makes it exciting. its like ive never seen it before. maybe i havent. i tend to ignore it. i cant wait to take those pictures and see what i look like. not to see whether im ugly or pretty or normal, but just to examine it. its like a sculpture. weird, and shapely. i want to see what everyone else sees everyday. i already know what everyone elses faces look like. now its my turn. this should be interesting.