CANT stop thinking about it. gained a bunch of weight and now feel fat and ugly and like I shouldn't even go out tonight. Eeeew where did this come from? Maybe if I embraced the downs I would come up naturally. Ugh. No time. I have to get ready and my hair looks like a fucking country-singers. I should shower. Gah. Life. Stop changing so frequently. I feel really really bad. I must still be crazy about him.