"As soon as you find your light, you're going to write great things." My dad says really quotable things sometimes. often. I wish I had written down everything he'd said. I could make a book. That's a boring quote, written wrong, but It's been reverberating around my head all day. I keep thinking about how I've got to write good essays to get anywhere academicaly. How I never write. How I HATE writting. My parents are encouraging me. I think I'd die of bordom/depression if I had to write a lot. It can be so fucking unsatisfying. But then when it is satisfying... boy... it's good. But I hate it. I want to run away from writting right now. Isn't it ironic that I have to write this right now? I'm never going to write another poem in my life. This whole poetry unit in school is either making me feel wonderful or tearing me apart. I don't know which one, but right now writting is really freaking me out. On another note, lately I keep feeling really stupid. Silly. Immature. In a bad way. Not in an obvious "I'm being silly and having fun" way, but more in a, "I don't know anything" way. I'm almost lost everytime my brain enters that world where thoughts drift and you dont concentrate on anything. The sober world though. The world where I can feel things I usually can never feel. Kind of like that feeling you get when you first sit down in a library. Maybe I'm the only one who gets that...