is everyone thinking as much as i am this winter? it feels like the seasons just bring back the same feelings i had last season. i feel like i think just the way i did last summer. i think a lot. all that crapola like who am i and where do i belong and what will i become. then there's the uncertain relationship, the dark nights at the gym, the annoyingly gloomy feeling you get when you go to your locker, and the fear of that man in my bathroom has come back. yeah, it was gone for a year. now its scary to lay in my bed. the sky has been so beautiful lately. how is that really possible for you to not be sure if the sky is the sky or the ocean. it feels unreal to stare at it. does it not make you feel small and undeserving, but feel all that amazing beauty at the same time? its beyond gorgeous. i hate the winter. it is by far the most beautiful month and the thoughtful feelings are really quite nice, but why the gloominess in every cold step? pooh on the concrete. the winter looks like concrete. cold concrete. and i admit its pretty still.