I died my hair a gross red color that looks entirely unnatural. Everyone likes it (I'm not sure that I do) and I look like Spiderman's mistress. Other than that I am empty. This weekend I felt a surge of energy, a need to do something exciting. That feeling passed, and so did the weekend, and I got nothing done, and I did nothing that reeked of excitement. But today I feel nothing important. School... posibilities... bores. I have tons of school work. Always do. It's wishy washy work. I sort of have a lot, but I also have a lot that I can not do and get away with it. It's not math homework you do and turn it, it's art and reading and writting. I'm on the verge of stressing out but still taking care of nothing. I found out that university in Scotland (and France) is free if you're a European citizen. I'm going to be a European citizen, but I think you have to live in Europe for 3 years before you can declare residency. So then I thought, hey, I can move to Scotland, work for 3 years, then go full time to school in Scotland or France, then join the peace corps, then go to graduate school, then begin my life. And that sounds just perfect to me, but I'm afraid that you're supposed to "begin your life" earlier.. I would be.. let's see.. probably nearly 30 by the time I finished all that.. is that too late? Would I be totally fulfilled and ready to go or way behind the prime time to get started on developing a career and a family? Would I even maintain that motivation for that long? Economically, it would be perfect. And hey, it would probably be perfect for my sanity and spirit, too. Perfect for my intelligence and happiness and everything of the sort. But.. I don't want to hit 30 and realize that I have no money and my parents are dying and I have no friends who are at the same place in their lives and no companions and no idea what to do with myself. It's hard to make decisions without knowing the outcome. It's hard to be risky. It's hard to know what's right. But if I took the road less travelled... will it really make all the difference?