I am feeling.... like absolute shit. So what's new? UPS & Ticketmaster suck. End of story. I don't want to explain myself for the 10th time. I'm tired of crying over somehting so lame. I really hate people like me. Hypocrytical, complain a lot, hypocrytical. Need I say more? I don't see how Emily can in the least stand me. Ooooh which brings me to my other newest frustration. Uh-huh, you guessed right! CARISSA! yay! So she told Emily she hated her, that Emily wasn't good for her, and she never wanted to talk to her again. Now they talk. Uh-huh. I hate Carissa. She's turning into a fashion core weirdo and she talks shit about me yet hugs me and shit. Oh yess. The bitch is back. And fucking with my relationship. I hate her being a part of my life in anyway. She steals my identity if I'm friends with her, and if I'm not, she goes gaga over Emily. Which drives me crazy. I don't think it normally does. It's just that they always say how much they hate each other yet then they're best friends the next second. And so I switch my mind to believe either one and then its not true anymore. And so when I'm used to them hating each other and all of a sudden they talk, well, my brain's still programmed to be worried in these situations. I kinda wish theyd just fucking go out. Because sometimes I think maybe they'd be perfect for each other if I wasnt here. And I'd feel awful shitty if that was true. So maybe I'd like them to get happy with each other. Then I could get happy with Desiree. And all would be well. I'd probably stock up on vicadin and move schools, but at least I'd know I wasn't standing in the way of anything. Oh yes. I really hate that feeling. And I think I will always live with having that feeling for one reason or another. Isn't this girl just fucking amazing?