i hate feeling lonely like this. i have no best friend. i have no girlfriend. my dad is in some other dark place. i dont even know where my mom is right now. and my kitty is gone. i just realized in the car today that a lot of changes have happened lately. in less than a months time: -my cat's died -my dad's quit his job -and ive broken up with my girlfriend i think i did that just to prove that i have a right to be emotional shakey. im really worried about my dad still. but i think more so i feel bad for him. after quiting, he sunk into this immense depression. he went to a counselor and she said that he's been self-loathing his whole life and now it's time to stop. i guess now that he's quit, its brought up a lot of realizations of his past and its all come whooshing over him like a tidal wave. i think he's going to go on prozac, though im not exactly sure. it really is sad to see it. i can tell hes different, and it makes me sad. i thought me and my mom were the only ones aloud to be depressed. its just horrible. i know what's making me upset now. im not sure why i get upset over it, but i just know i do. my weird mood is triggered so easily. its amazing how i can be smiling and then one wrong word is said and i want to dissapear again. on another note, i got to do my scene today with alex. it turned out just as planned, we didnt mess up once. he said our characters were good, which is great because thats the hardest part. it felt amazing. and on another another note, yesterday britney's new cd came out (i want it!) but today is the Sexiest Night on Television! okay, so its just a victorias secret fashion show, but it sure is exciting for me because ive had the flyer/postcard thing FOREVER! goodbye all.