First off, why am I cursed with this love for ugly people? I want attractive, but I can't help crushing on people who end up being ugly. It's become a pattern and I don't like it. Maybe one day I'll find someone who's attractive and lovable. Ah... the days ahead. Yesterday was the first day I have ever been called a "tart" by my mom. I still like to call it my sixteen year old intuition to be boy crazy and fickle. That's not bad, right? I know this might be hard to believe but last night I think I made my first bong. I don't remember ever doing it by myself. Okay, so the carbs a little low and could amount to some spilling, but I don't think it'll have to go through any turmoil like that. The point is, it's quite well done. Air tight. With a real stem! Yeah, I left my bong in Ellison's car. What a bummer. Oh, and that smell he can't get out of his car... I confess that I think it's bong water. I saw a stain on the ground. But I swear I emptied it out everytime... so... I don't know what to say. Oh, and is it pathetic that everyday I look forward to when he's going to sign online and we'll talk? I think so. Note to self: Don't ever wear a skirt to the Loft ever again. It amounts to stupid kids that go to your school laughing and pulling lame tricks like "I'll stand in front of you and you look over my shoulder so you can see who I'm talking about". Yeah. My butt showed. I have massive tanlines. Oh, the humility. And why is it so hard for me to like people my own age? There's very few people out there that I really like that are 16. I'm still in that spot where I just can't wait for the world around me to feel smart. I pray that that's even possible. Well, I think I'm going to go smoke a bowl and make pancakes. Or just go back to sleep. I'm so tired.