I hate this battle you push on me. I'm never winning for long enough, and I never I have any allies to fight with me. I hate it when you stab me slice me. I hate it when you pin me down and hit me push me and expect me to take it take it. I hate the way you outmanuever me and leave me stranded and pretend that's not what it was about. I live in an enclosing box that I have to constantly push on the walls of so that I'm not swallowed whole and spit back out as some contorted figure. For some reason you've never though to help me with my box. For some reason you've let it spit me out repeatedly and you always think it will be different next time, but it's not. And you're still not helping and I'm still not growing strong enough to hold up my own walls. Maybe you're just trying to hold up your walls. Well fuck your walls because mine hurt and they're closing closing closing in on me and there's no lifeguard on duty and for some reason your binoculars are never quite in focus. I'd never show you the easy way inside my box. But you'll also never try to get inside. Maybe we can pay someone else to do it.