Today I wanted candy and went on the internet instead. That's kind of gross. I feel sort of.. fine right now. School's all wrapped up, I won. No more panic attacks and no more hatred for people that don't matter anyways. I finished Tuesdays with Morrie today. Oh wait, I still have to finish the last 2 pages. I had to pee. I'm watching strange short films on the sundance channel while trying to love my dog. Today I have Wyatt's party. I have to go on a walk (I feel large lately) and find a costume and buy him a present. Wyatt, parties are supposed to be easy to go to. No one's going to show up because you're making this so difficult. I would flake if it weren't for relationships and friends and commitment and all that crap I would drop if I were slightly more quiet and self-centered. My dad talked to me about "smart stuff". He is incredibly logical, and I wonder if he's at all spiritual. Or if my mom is. Because I definately feel some of that nagging at me. Maybe it's just a 16 year old faze that will pass. Since my ego deflated I've become a lot more successful. The future is big and I feel clean. But I don't like knowing that because I feel good right now, I am sure to feel bad later.