More stuffed animals this morning. Church was okay. I was wearing this yellow dress that I hate, and everyone recognized me from school. I'd rather they not. I like my life just fine without them. Saw Drew today, I nearly died. I don't think it's healthy for me to crush on a guy like that, considering he has a girlfriend and all. Hrm. Well, Quatre's always available.. And Kenshin.. ;_;.. I stayed up super late last night because I couldn't fall asleep. Bad dream, I guess. I was reading The Lovely Bones for like, the eighteenth time, and just before I drifted off to sleep I started to think about death, and before I knew it I was wide awake in bed and crying for some reason. I'm afraid of dying, I think. It reminds me of how fragile human beings really are, how small and insignificant, and no one likes to be reminded of that. I can't comprehend death, and I'm a person who generally needs to work with logic. I don't understand it, I don't know it, I can't read books on it, therefore I fear it. I guess the thing I fear most is dying and not seeing my loved ones in Heaven, i dunno. I'm afraid of a lot of things. I guess I'm just a good actress. Speaking of which, mom wants me to sign up for the drama club, but I really don't want to. Acting takes a lot out of me, I don't like to lead people on. I used to do that a lot, Back Then, and I'd prefer to forget Then. So no drama club for me. But I might join photography, who knows. I miss Alli a whole lot. It really depresses me to think that we're growing slowly apart, and neither of us really cares. I guess it was meant to be. Rented The Ring, gonna watch it later today. I think. Mom and Sarah and I drove to Julie's farm to see her new foals the other day, they're so fucking cute it's just scary! lolol. Margot. Foal born six hours before we got there. Still unnamed. Stupid chapter. I hate writing when I feel unmotivated to do so. And I tried to get those seahorse pics up today, but all the ones I took blurred. Gomennasai. (Khemosabi, Stacie.) Speaking of Stacie, happy graduation! ^_^ Don't work too hard in college. I need to go ride. I don't want to. *sigh*