god sometimes i feel like looking at myself in the mirror and being like hey, what is going on with you, you can be so weird sometimes. the me in the mirror would shrug and look at her feet and i would be very disappointed in her for never being able to explain what is going on inside her own hea-...d. all I want is a simple pair of silver, metallic ballet flats with a lacy-like design so that I can wear them with black tights. Is that so much to ask? I have such a headache. I keep getting scared that things are going to turn out bad again and I don't even know how to say it. I wish things would just happen sometimes, so that like in the movies you could later sit and hold hands and talk about it like normal people instead of pretending like nothing is actually wrong. maybe if i had spoken my mind two years ago it wouldnt have been this way now. i guess i wouldn't even change it for the world.