Don't you ever wish you could have another chance at something? A rewind button on the biggest goof up of your life? Not that anything so far that I've messed up on was life shattering, but you know, still. I wish there was a little switch I could pull and there I would be, drawing ponies across from him and he'd be laughing at something silly I said. And this time I think I'd do things different, and maybe not ruin it all into stoicism and silence. Or I could go back a little less in time, and I wouldn't have opened my mouth at all. I would have sat before him and smiled and kept up appearances because it was better to have him be fake and my friend than it is to have him real and not my friend, now, as horrible as it sounds. As selfish as it sounds, even. I guess that some things were always meant to be ruined by your own stupid mistakes, and that they were never meant to be fixed by anything ever again. I think you get one shot at everything and sometimes you make it, but sometimes you make shit pie out of it and then God goes "Whoops, that was the one, sucks man." I believe in sadistic heavenly figures. In other news, I got a purse that is super cute and beaded and has coins on it from Peru. It's very cool and came from the flower show. Also, I keep having weird dreams. They say that's what happens when your creativity doesn't get outleted enough during the day, but what about the days when I draw, or write? How come I have weird dreams then?