Imagine this: A girl is holed up in her room with her laptop on her knees, boredly tying a journal entry that nobody will read. Her mother is taking a nap two rooms down the hall. Her window is open and the air is fresh. Thus is my exposition. Do you ever go through life thinking that there absolutely MUST be someone filming you? That's one of my favorite thoughts: that my life is one big movie and at the end of it all someone'll come up to me, shake my hand and give me five trillion bucks. "Good job, Lili, that was a masterpiece." Of course, then I'll kick the bucket and it won't matter anyways. There's a boy in my school who wants to be a writer and thinks I do too. I don't know what his deal is, actually. He always seems to be spotuing off some new literary achievement at me, and I'm congratulatory, of course, but why does he think I care so much? It'd be kind of mean to ask. I just don't get why when people hear that I like to write they go bananas and ask me about my future. I like to write. That's all. I don't want to be a writer when I get older, I don't want to be a journalist or publish a magazine. I just want to scribble the occasional short story or whatever for my own well being. Which is why I don't show my work to anyone really. :/ I guess I'm just scared that someone'll say it's bad and then I'll feel stupid and inferior. You could try and equate it to an old lady with no one and nothing except a little cat, and then one day someone just takes that cat away or something. What would I do with all my creative energy? Or lack thereof, I suppose--I already suck at a lot of things. I'm tired of it. I don't want to suck anymore. I wanted to come online and type something here that would interest you, or maybe even intrigue you or make you think, but it looks like I kind of failed. :/ this was another selfish entry about mememe.