There are so many things I could do with my life. I could be anything I wanted to be. Stretch my hands out and reach and whisper a magic word and it would happen for me. I'm proud of my parents. They came to this country when they were young and newly married with nothing. No money, no friends, no relatives, no knowledge of the English language. My dad wasn't even there for the first two years of my life. But he grew up so, so fast when we came to America, my mom says. And look at us now. Yeah. That's what pride is. Working so hard for something that everyone else told you you would never have. Working so hard and dreaming, wishing, praying, and finally, finally one day achieving it. I'm not proud of myself. I have done nothing astonishing. I'm just a silly little girl. A ninth grader. But maybe one day I'll earn my own respect, and that of those around me. I'll do something amazing, astonishing, something that will change and revolutionize the world. And that's a promise. And I always keep my promises. I'm going over to Sarah's today. Her mom's taking us for a girl's night out thing, we're going to the spa and shopping for clothes. Then I think I'm sleeping over. I'm glad--I really need a break from my computer. I sit online too much. I need a break from writing, I really do. I can't do it anymore. I try and force myself to do these things, but I can't, just can't do them! People depend on me, but what they don't realize is that I'm a human being too! I make mistakes. I need time and inspiration. I'm not a machine who just spits out words for a storyline. I wish everyone would just leave me alone. No, I take that back. I don't want to be left alone. I just want people to stop thinking about only themselves and start caring about others too...it makes me so sad when I realize that in the world as we know it, nobody gives a shit. I'm writing another one shot. I seem to be doing a lot these days. It's about..oh fuck it all. Nobody cares anyways. I'm not even going to put it up. I'm only showing it to Fox because she won't go "What the hell?" when she reads it. God is so awesome. He is my rock of salvation in these troubled times.