I hate it when I get these funks. I'll stay in them until someone drags me out by my nose. Why do I always do this? I hate this. And I know it's my choice to be like this or to not be like this, but somehow I'm always like this, so does this mean that somewhere deep in my subconscious I want to be like this? I feel so bad. So bad. *bangs head on table* Goddamn it, what do I want out of her?