Yeah so this is going to be a LONG entry so if you don't want to read it, backtrack on your stupid browser NOW. It's my fucking diary and I write what I want. It has come to my attention that I am, indeed, an extremely boring and uninteresting person. It has also come to my attention that I talk WAY, WAY too much. Now the latter I acknowledge is true, but I know the former NOT BECAUSE someone told me, but simply because today smack in the middle of a sentence in a conversation I was having with some guy, he just leaves. Kaput. Just LEAVES. Not a word or anything! Lili, you are boring. See, first I thought it was just really, really rude of him. Then when everyone started to gang up on me like YOURE OVERREACTING BLAH BLAH I realised that I, indeed, must be the biggest, loudest, most talkative bore that ever slithered across the face of the earth. I'm so boring that I know that you don't have to capitalize "earth" unless you have other planets in the sentence. I'm apparently so boring that I just make people want to go home when I open my mouth to talk. Well you know what? Fuck you! I don't care. Maybe I do talk a lot, and maybe I talk about MYSELF a lot, but you know what? Atleast I'm not an ASSHAT! Atleast I don't freaking walk away when someone's trying to say something to me, and I always try to tell my friends what's going down and what's not and whether or not I even care about what they're saying. i usually pretend to, even when I don't. It obviously means a lot to them if they're telling me in the first place. You know what else??? I'm SICK of my friends. SICK. SICK SICK SICK. Well, maybe not Sarah. But the rest of you can go to hell. You guys suck. You're all fired. I don't care. Go find someone else to bother. You don't care about my problems and you could care less about my horses so don't fucking ask if you don't mean it! Today Matthew went lame. I just went ballistic. I started bawling right in the middle of the barn and it was SO EMBARRASSING and I didn't know whether to kick the damn horse or hug him and kiss him because I love him so much. I sobbed for hours sitting in the feeder in the pasture and Riley chewed on my hair sometimes. He stood over me for all sixty three minutes making quiet snuffling noises and when I was all dried out and couldn't cry anymore, I leaned against his front legs and looked up and thought I would never want to be anywhere but there. I thought that I have friends who could never understand me because they don't give a fucking shit about this magnificent animal that would rather stand by me when I was crying for a whole hour than eat, even if he didn't understand what was going on. I hate them. I hate them because when I cry about his health all they do is pat me on the back and ask if their mascara is on okay. I resent them. Every time ive seen them recently I've just wanted to explode. I'm so tired, and very, very, very sad. My fortune cookie just now said my future is bright and limitless. You know what? Fortune cookies are written by fucking liars.