To whomever is out there: Alright! You win! I've learned my lesson and I am certainly much humbled. You can stop kicking me in the shins now! It's all good! You were absolutely right when you mentioned that he wasn't what I wanted. Okay, so I made a mistake, but can't we just forget it this time around? I mean seriously, I'm only, like, fifteen. How was I supposed to know that the "awesome power of my love" wasn't all that awesome or powerful anyway, and it definitely wasn't going to make him like me back? I invoke the stupid little child label on this one, man. Except then you just HAD to go and rub my face in it when he told me he didn't want to go out anymore, and then I spent the better part of a week being angry at him because he showed everyone that letter (Yeah man, go ahead, flaunt my weaknesses before I get a chance to flaunt his--*I* should have just shown everybody *HIS* letter, which was totally forty times four times eight times more weepy.) and then I kind of gave up and started to forget about it. But noooo, you couldn't be done there, could you? You had to lull me into this false sense of security, and then BAM--! Right between the eyes with a rude remark and a name calling and mockery that resulted in me sobbing in the bathroom. Okay, yeah, I can live with everything messed up, sure, it's fine as long as he doesn't try and talk to me, or I'll fall apart. Except THEN you decided to get all smarty pants on me and made him try to talk to me every day while I was supposed to be ignoring him and talk ABOUT me to other people like I wasn't even standing, uh, right there. Because EVERYONE except for me knows that I'm too easy for my own good 99% of the time, and you know it best of all, man, so you decided it would be the most excellent fun ever to see how long I could stand up under the great pressure of dying inside every time he said my name and I didn't want to respond. EXCEPT it's just about the most un-funny ting you have ever done to me, except that one thing in seventh grade, but nobody talks about that anymore. I mean, just because I spent three nights begging to the night sky that he wouldn't laugh at me when I told him I liked him doesn't mean you had to go and punish me twenty times over. If you don't mind my saying so, your disciplinary system sucks ass. Yeah and speaking of asses, what's that deal wih him turning into an A&F clone over the summer? You totally robbed Grant of all that was Grant, including his kindness and his jokes and his complete inability to curse (Which, if you haven't noticed, he does now with surprising regularity, and did so the other day at me.) and stuff. I can just see you up there falling asleep at the controls or whatever and accidentally falling onto the "weird-o-meter" button with your elbow or something, completely smashing it and sending all the controls for Grant absolutely haywire. It's called a mechanic--you should have plenty up there, and if you don't, that's kind of sad. So yeah, this is just a 'heads up'--a memo, if you will--telling you to tell yourself to get your goddamn finger off the make-Lili's life-a-laughable-living-hormone-infested-adolescent-hell button. (And I've learned my lesson! So it's completely safe to stop now! I promise!)